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Apparently filmmakers have been trying to put Pretty Woman 2 together for some years. You remember Pretty Woman, right? Horribly rich Richard Gere picks up Julia Roberts on the street and they fall in rich love? What am I saying, of course you remember it. It probably happens to you every time you see a hooker.

So yeah, the movie won over audiences who appreciate hookers that don’t have pimps, sores, VD or crippling crack addictions but do attract suave, personable rich men in need of companionship. It was a pretty accurate portrayal of street prostitution, by and large. So it’s no wonder they wanted a sequel. Unfortunately, Julia has said that, seeing as she’s 42, it’s just now going to happen. See, no one wants to see an old hooker.

The mind boggles a bit at this position, but it’s possible Julia Roberts is being so ultra-clever she need not acknowledge any of the million and one things that were already fucked up about the premise of Pretty Woman that would discount her age as being a problem in a potential sequel. Honestly, it was a feel-good romantic comedy about a woman, working street corners, who finds love with a rich Richard Gere. And she looks like Julia Roberts. Are you fucking kidding?

It’s entirely possible the screenwriter of Pretty Woman would tackle the war on terror by making Osama bin Laden a hard-to-get geologist played by Catherine Zeta-Jones and George Bush a debonair cowboy played by Brad Pitt. Clearly this whole movie came from so far out of left field as to represent reality in the most strained ways. Yes, she was a woman, yes he was a man. That part makes sense and that’s about where it ends.

Really though, it might have been nice to see a sequel to Pretty Woman. Maybe in this one Roberts could be a she-pimp, and her stable of ladies could include Scarlett Johansson, Natalie Portman and Megan Fox.

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