All The News For Atlanta Escorts.

Every so often I like to give you folks practical advice, stuff you can use in every day life. I’m not saying you can’t use the knowledge that of a troupe of hookers dressed like Girl Scouts were mistaken for the real thing and sent door-to-door on the world’s awesomest Thin Mint selling campaign, but sometimes we need a break from the news, right? And in that spirit, here’s a list of signs that you may want to leave a strip club. Things could get ugly.

• Cover charge is $5 or a tube of anti-bacterial cream

• The girls on stage dance while preparing pulled pork sandwiches

• The bathroom attendant watches you pee

• The bathroom attendant watches you pee while he masturbates

• There are VD and Non-VD seating sections

• Most of the girls can be identified by smell

• The bouncers are also dancers

• The only thing on tap is Thunderbird and moonshine

• The headlining dancer used to be your 3rd grade teacher

• The headlining dancer outweighs you

• Girls keep getting hairs caught on the pole

• Girls keep getting bandages caught on the pole

• Dances are half off if the dancer is menstruating

• The bathroom is a shed in an empty lot out back

• You can count the vertebrae on most of the dancers

• Lap dances leave stains on your jeans that aren’t yours

• There’s a puke bucket on stage

• There’s a spittoon on stage

• Any of the girls have more scars than your average Thai knife-fighter

• At least one of the girls uses her lack of teeth as a selling point

• Chris Hansen is parked outside

• Any of the dancers is sporting a cast

• Or a neck brace

• Novelty acts mostly just light farts

• The headlining act has a bigger dick than you

• Private dances are payable in cash, food stamps or meth